Voices of The Past
by Rae Logan
Summary: My first try at a STH fanfic featuring Shadow. Shadow awakes every night from a recurring nightmare... will he find a way to stop them, or will he slowly begin to lose it?


Hey Y'all... after a lot of time and reading... I have decided to write my own Shadow FanFic. I actually wrote this in the middle of the night... by the light of a fishtank. I know... your probably thinking : "What the hell?"... Yeah... so am I...

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I missed them... More than anything... I _needed_ them. I felt like I was lost, lost despite the journey of self-discovery I had finally completed not but a few years ago. Since then, even after I declared I was to stop letting the past control me, to cease being chained to my past as I had been even in my forced coma, I was still haunted by my nightmares, my... horrid memories of our last few moments together, of her dying breath of a wish, the very moment I just want to forget, to tear from my mind... but I cannot... 

They come to me in middle of the night, when one most likely wants to be as asleep as possible, but I am not, for I cannot. I am wide awake, staring fearfully into the dark, afraid to fall asleep, terrified that I once again find myself behind the glass of the escape pod, tearing at it fruitlessly as I scream out her name while she falls, seemingly, slowly to the ground, fatally wounded from the gunshots. I feel my whole world shatter around me as she tells me to give the people something to be happy about, and the pod drops, sending me plummeting, screaming, towards the blue planet. I then find myself awake after I black out. Awake in my room, alone, afraid, and staring around for something tangible to help me come to my senses. To stare at it and see it just being there, something I can reach out and hold in my hands, like a pillow, which I can even hold in my arms for a temporary security item, to hold until my breathing slows, my heart stops racing, and my head stops spinning... I can finally tell myself that it was nothing more than a gruesome nightmare, and though the memory may still exist... the situation cannot again.

When it finally sets in, I find myself, shaken, and deadly silent; a low whine forming painfully in the back of my throat. Alone. This however was not the case but a few days ago.

I had awaken with a jolt, not from another bad dream, but to a powerful presence in my room. I sat up and surveyed the dark room, thoroughly confused. After all... I lived by myself, so no one should have even been here. I settled back down, pulling the covers close to my face, letting my eyes drift shut.

Five minutes had passed before I heard my name called softly in my ear. The voice was so familiar, my heart stopped for a moment in shock. Could it be...?

My eyes shot open, and I practically jumped to my feet. Shaking now, I was almost certain my tired brain was playing a cruel trick on me, not wanting me to be at peace. I inhaled deeply to calm myself, sitting back on the bed when my now trembling legs could no longer support my equally shaking body. My twitchy hand came to my fore head to test for a fever, but, thankfully, none could be detected. So, I wasn't imagining it because I was ill. Perhaps I was starting to lose it like the professor did. I was now terrified of this outcome. I did not want to lose my grip on reality; I had come to far to fall like that.

_" Don't worry... you're not, Shadow... you're too strong of a person to let that happen..."_

The voice alone almost killed me. I had to throw my hand down to stablize myself, and to keep me from jumping back and knocking head on the head of the bed..

"Hello?" I called back, heart hammering and head spinning. I felt a little weak, but was determined to solve this mystery. "Maria... Is that you?"

Silence answered me. Maybe I was losing it. I was now even more afraid. I whimpered pathetically, beginning to feel physically sick. It would seem that I never got a break on anything, even my sanity. Would I ever forget it... would I forget that horrifying image deep inside my mind, if only for a moment? Would it drive me over the edge, and end up like the Professor, spending the rest of my days in an asylum, alone and unable to determine reality from fantasy? I would hope not... I almost did at one point. I believed that I was an android, created so androids would rebel... Thank God, Sonic and the others were there to help me see the truth... I owed them that.

But, no one was here to help me now... I am alone... or so I think...

As a tear falls from my eye, I feel a gentle hand wipe it away. I sit shock still, my breath caught in my throat as my eyes snap open. An empty room greeted my vision... empty and dark...

After I snapped out of my stupor, I begin to survey the dark corners of my room, with great care as to not even miss behind the door. Still alone.. and yet... the presence was now even stronger. I feel an arm wrap around me comfortingly, but I am too upset to really care of it is real or not, as I have, at this point, dissolved into tears entirely. I probably would have looked a mess to anyone, if Sonic, or Rouge or even the Doctor had seen me at this given moment, I am certain of that.

_" Don't worry, Shadow... " _The voice tells me. _"You're going to be alright..."  
_  
"I miss you, Maria..." I choke out. "You and the Professor both... I miss you both more than I can say..."

Another hand finds itself on my shoulder. This one also felt familiar, but different than the other. I grit my teeth to hold back my sobs. To display weakness in front of Maria was one thing... but if _he_ knew...

_" ... We all have our breaking points at one time or another I'm afraid... It's nothing to be ashamed of, Son..."_

There was no mistaking it... no mistaking it at all. My tense body relaxed at the end of his sentence.

"... I'm so sorry..." I whispered with my head bowed dejectedly.

_"What for? You've done all we've ever asked of you... and then some..."_

"... But... I strayed from those paths several times..." I looked up, but remembered that I couldn't see them, so looked down at my feet instead. " ... I almost killed innocent people, and sided with the wrong people. i couldn't save you, Maria, or even anyone aboard the ARK... I have failed you, Professor... I'm just a failed experiment..."

Was this really how I felt deep down? Perhaps I was too tired to be thinking properly... I couldn't really be a lost cause... could I ?

_"My dear boy..." _The Professor half laughed, allowing my tension to ease up ever so slightly. _"My Shadow... a failure? Surely not... have you not given everyone a second chance? Did you not stop an entire alien invasion? I think that you have..."_

Just hearing those words from him made me feel increasingly better. As if another weight was lifted from my shoulders, I sat a little straighter now, my hand banished my new tears away. I smiled weakly and whispered a "Thank you... "

Leaning a little more into Maria's embrace, I fell silent for a few minutes before speaking again.

"You'll have to leave me again... won't you?"

_" We'll be here if you need us, Shadow... In your heart, we won't really be gone..."_ Said Maria.

"Oh..." I said, half dazed, beginning to yawn now. "D-don't go just yet... stay at least until I fall asleep again... _Please..._"

I must have sounded like a child to them with that request, but they both laughed softly as my eyes began to drift shut again.

_"... of course, my son..."_ The Professor's hand gently scratched behind my ear lovingly, which twitched out of reflex. I could have sworn I began purring, or something like that... but I was all too tired to really care.

As my last few minutes of conciousness slipped slowly away... I smiled dazedly at no one in particular. The last thing my ears picked up was a wish of _"Pleasant dreams, Shadow.." _before I was lost from the world of conciousness. I distintly remember whispering "I will..."

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I woke up, curled in a ball, on my bed. the warm rays of the sun beamed on my face as my eyes fluttered open. Was it all just a dream last night? Did I miss the Professor and Maria so much that my brain created this much needed fantasy? It had felt so real... I had hoped not... but one thing was certain...that was the first night in the longest time that I did not wake up alone, feeling sick and afraid, because of my nightmares. 

As I got up to do my morning routine, my phone rang. It was Sonic.

"I came up with another remedy you could use for those nightmares of your's Shadow." He said. "Ready? Okay... first you take a duck and- "

"I think I'm through with my nightmares from now on..." I cut across him, not wanting to even begin to think of what the duck was for.

"Really? That's great! How-?"

"Let's just say it just... sort have.. came to me in the middle of the night." I smiled in a way that if he could see me, he would have probably been confused. "See ya..."

And with that I hung up the phone and practically skipped my way through the day.

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Entire story... typed in two hours... GAWD I'M SLOW! Hope you liked it though. :D Toodles.

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